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My nerves jump like a skillet full of oil spits, rattling on the burner.

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I'm spending another summer in New Hampshire; and wondering how it ended up that way again. I'm sure my parents are probably thinking the same thing. But all in all, it's nice to know that I'm going home. No anxiety present about that trip.

"Nowhere I go is quite the same as that sweet home waiting for me, at the end of the day."

And every year I make a list of what the summer will hold. Rarely does it fall into that mold, but might as well keep a tradition on. And when is a better time to make useless lists than when you have a 15 page paper due so soon it could make you cry?

So, the summer,

gardening
blueberries
woods
facebook and television free
books
violin
a little rock climbing
a lot of hiking
hammocks
Patches Patricia Puppy Farrell aka Dog
ticks
early to bed, early to rise: sleep with the sun
Dennis + David + Senegal friends + NOLSies + Alex + new friends
Thesis
GIS
swimming
biking
living consciously and treading lightly
firewood
building
hard labor makes the hands rough, the mind bright, and the soul at peace
cooking and baking skills
family, the good and the bad
screen house
sleeping outside
slackline
practicing the many social skills that atrophy at New College
exploration and understanding of the land
using a chainsaw
driving stick
backing up the trailer
sawmill-ing
bringing some funk to the home-front
centering myself for an insane year ahead
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I've got a facebook picture right now of me sitting on Buffalo Girl, harnessed in, being rail meat, bundled up away from the cold dark sky. And every time I look at it, I can't help but think of those days where I wasn't worried or stressed or upset. I thought the world would continue on, just as it was on that boat. By day learning and sailing, and by night venturing into dense British Columbian forests before falling asleep to Isaac's guitar on our sardine can boat beds.

There was nothing I could want more; even the sea sickness is appealing right now. The power of being at the helm, the goofiness of rigging up bosun chairs, the team effort to get up to as many knots as possible. And that was just the sailing section.

Fuck, I miss NOLS so much at this moment and all that came with it. Its sad that I can't share that with anyone around me. I don't even think it's appropriate to email to my fellow NOLSies right now; of course I can always call Bonnie later.

I MISS YOU NOLS. I'll get back to it at some point. But right now I just have to push through day by day, piece by piece.
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I hope you found someone you can drink fine wine with. Because I haven't found anyone.
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Best night of the entire semester: December 9th
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I'm touring to New Hampshire
Yah there's some good friends
I've been wanting to see
when I get back here
it's gonna be a whole other year
will you be around
but I want you to know I meant what I said when I said that I liked you
cause I really like you
still do
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look bitches: this is my plan for the next forever.
First:

We'll have Christmas, maybe a tree, maybe a whole family, maybe no one.


Then I'll probably look like this (I tend to look like this at home) for a month or so.
HOPEFULLY WHILE DOING THIS:
http://docs.unh.edu/NH/altn57sw.jpg

Then I will go here:

to hear my sister speak.

THEN I WILL FLY OFF TO THE SCARIEST AND HOPEFULLY MOST IMPORTANT SEMESTER OF MY LIFE:

* * *
put your ear to the sky
and listen, my darling
oh, everything whispers
I love you
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"Show me a 20 year old who isn't in love."
(House)

True true true.

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I don't have an ISP. (Forms are due tomrrow? Who would have known?) But I didn't really want to DO a January ISP. I want to do a SUMMER ISP. You either need two math ISPs or two Biology ISPs. It's too bad I still don't know what my AOC is, nor do I have an adivsor to figure this out with. I guess I'll approach Gilchrist about how I can fit biology into the next two years - but she makes me really nervous.

Stressed, but I can do it. (Should I feel lame about being stressed by the ridiculous classes I'm actually taking?)

I need to be more responsible. This semester has been more than worthless and I think next semester will be the most valuable semester of my college career.

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