I've got a facebook picture right now of me sitting on Buffalo Girl, harnessed in, being rail meat, bundled up away from the cold dark sky. And every time I look at it, I can't help but think of those days where I wasn't worried or stressed or upset. I thought the world would continue on, just as it was on that boat. By day learning and sailing, and by night venturing into dense British Columbian forests before falling asleep to Isaac's guitar on our sardine can boat beds.
There was nothing I could want more; even the sea sickness is appealing right now. The power of being at the helm, the goofiness of rigging up bosun chairs, the team effort to get up to as many knots as possible. And that was just the sailing section.
Fuck, I miss NOLS so much at this moment and all that came with it. Its sad that I can't share that with anyone around me. I don't even think it's appropriate to email to my fellow NOLSies right now; of course I can always call Bonnie later.
I MISS YOU NOLS. I'll get back to it at some point. But right now I just have to push through day by day, piece by piece.
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convolutedaxiom's journal
